When The Almond Blooms
by Elinie26
Summary: The legend believes that the almond tree guides the gates to the underworld, I just hope I would meet the tree in the afterlife instead of rotting in Hell. Thank you for being my friend


Fifteen years have passed. Fifteen years of my eternal struggling with my own self. Fifteen hollow years when I tried to remember the meaning of life. Fifteen... It is the end of the last month of spring and I feel the inner cold again. My limbs start shaking, my heart clenches itself inside my chest, I gasp, I choke the tears. I look out the window. I observe this cold and damp spring. The summer seems too far away and so is my life. I keep living as if out of some forgotten reflex.

I've got nowhere else to be, so I come to this old greenhouse and stand in front of the tree. Sure, Magical World can say that I become no one and that their "exceeds expectations" they gave me a credit for didn't meet their expectations at the end. They predicted me a head-blowing career of Minister for Magic at the very least, but I so cheekily ruined all their plans for the great so-called "brains" of the infamous Golden Trio.

After the Battle, standing on the ruins of all my previous life, I understood that I didn't want to have anything in common with that damned world. I left the country in search of my parents. I found them in Australia, living happily. During the time of my torturing in Malfoy Manor, when I was living through my own near-death experience, the memory charm I placed on them had fallen and they remembered all their previous life and their wayward daughter, of course. The thing they didn't remember was the one who warned us about the great danger we all had been in.

I close my eyes. I remember.

It was the night before Beltaine, the lightest and clearest day of the year. I was with my parents, doing some useless rituals and believing that everything was going to be okay. That time I still knew how to believe in happy endings. I was lighting candles around the house when my wards started to buzz. I draw my wand and started tiptoeing towards the door, my parents chatting happily in the kitchen when somebody grabbed me by the shoulders and hissed right into my ear: "Miss Granger, do not make any stupid noises and follow me". Of course, I recognized that voice! That voice haunted my dreams for almost a year for now. I felt my heart might burst out of my chest but still, I stood motionless, looking at him. Our so-called _inappropriate encounter_, as he preferred referring to what became of our relations during the last twelve months, our so-called encounter was my blessing and his curse and we kept it secret. One night after the Halloween, when the school was suffering under Umbridge's terror and Dumbledore seemed to do nothing about it, as he always did, I was wandering the corridors of Hogwarts long after the curfew. I knew it was strictly forbidden, even for the Head Girl, but I stopped caring a long time ago. Right after the time of that infamous Ministry Battle which nearly cost me my life. So, I was wandering the long and damp corridors, the pale moon was shining and the wind was howling through the cracks. I always loved the coldness of the Dungeons. They were silent and they seem to understand my inner struggling with my self. A had a little chat with Bloody Baron and turned to leave for Gryffindor Tower when something caught my attention: the door to Professor Snape office was opened ajar and a trail of blood was disappearing into his quarters. Wand drawn, I rushed inside, thinking a thousand thoughts a second about what might have happened here.

Professor was kneeling on the bathroom floor, his shaking hands clutching the white porcelain of the sink, and some bleeding red mass was dripping onto the floor from his coughing mouth. I reached his shoulder, unsure of what to do. Of course, I was a proud owner of Mediwitch certificate but all my knowledge seemed totally useless against the aftermath of Cruciatus or worse things. He did not seem to notice my presence. So, I called for a damp cloth and a glass of water and touched his bleeding chin. He shuddered and opened his eyes. I rather felt than really heard his question:

"Miss Granger, what are you doing here?"

"Saving your life, probably", I replied rather cheekily. He shook his head.

"My life doesn't need to be saved, especially by you"

"Still, I would like to try, so I would be very grateful if you explained to me what I should do"

He was too weak and too amazed by my audacity to argue, so he let me help. So, this went for the next several months of Dark Lord's wrath and my night wanderings. And Severus' bleeding as a result.

He quickly became just Severus for me, though I still was Miss Granger for him. There were dark times and we were broken and desperate. One night, when I looked after his new wounds, he told me about his Debt to Dumbledore and his Vow to Narcissa. To my credit, I listened to his confession carefully, thought about all our options and offered him to flee from here and from the continent. He just laughed and explained to me everything about Harry's true role in the War. I stayed silent and just stared into the fireplace, lost in my own thoughts. He sat near me for some time and after that, he just extended his hand and told me to follow him.

We stood in the old greenhouse, in front of the blooming almond tree, neither knowing what to say. We grew very close during these tense and dark months. He fascinated me with his deep thoughts, witty remarks and dry sense of humor, I hoped, that my endless blabbering and rather lame help with his wounds enlightened his days just for a little bit. Suddenly, he took me by the shoulders and turned to face him.

"I do not have much, Miss Granger, and I do not hold the hope that you might be somehow interested in my old herbal garden, dusty books, and senile grounching, but still I wish to give you a piece of advice from your former teacher: run. Take Potter, grab Weasley and run away from here! Dark times are coming and we could do nothing about them. I am going to give you all the instructions about Horcruxes and how to destroy them. I do not hold the hope that you might manage Fiendyre but there is enough Basilisk poison in my private stocks, so I'll teach you what to do with it. Run! Just... stay safe", after his sudden outburst, he whispered the last phrase almost inaudibly. I looked him in the eyes.

"Professor? Oh, damn it, Severus! Listen to me! You are not going to die, no matter what the senile Headmaster or The Lord wants you to do! Come with us, let's all hide somewhere, let's..."

He pressed his finger to my lips and smiled sadly.

"Language, Miss Granger"

We stood silently in front of the tree and pink petals were covering the ground with gently blanket. He took my hand and spoke softly:

"The legend believes that the almond tree guides the gates to the underworld, I just hope I would meet the tree in the afterlife instead of rotting in Hell. Thank you for being my friend"

I left the castle the next morning, leaving Severus and all my life behind. We fought and struggled, we hoped and lost hope, we bleed and breathed. We tried to survive. There was no news from Severus until that Beltaine night which I decided, rather foolishly, to spend in the house of my parents. I longed for at least an illusion of belonging. I missed my family so much. So, he stood in my corridor, looking at me as he had seen the ghost.

"Do not make stupid movements and listen to me", he explained, grabbing me by the shoulders, "Death Eaters followed your escapade up to your parent's house and they will be here any minute. Draw your wand and come with me"

I dawdled behind him, feeling as if my world might burst in this very second. Severus walked to the doorway of the kitchen and stopped there, turning to me slightly.

"There is only one solution, Miss Granger, we are going to send your parents away from here, to hide them, and in order to do so, we should remove all of their memories of you and their previous life. I am going to place the wards around your house, it will buy us some time, but we must hurry, and you are going to assist me, now, listen closely"

He was explaining me the whole procedure but I felt the ground disappearing from under my feet, I grabbed the doorframe to remain standing, Severus squeezed my hand and reminded me to stay concentrated. I followed his instructions, assisting in a rather complicated memory charm, and together we succeeded in our doomed activity. He pressed the Portkey into my father's open palm and took me by the shoulders again.

"Come, Miss Granger, it is dangerous to remain here any more second"

"But I've nowhere to go..." I whispered between the sobs.

"Come with me"

So, I followed him again. I do not remember the Spiner's End too clearly, I just know that it was warm and dusty and smelled of books, and parchment, and herbs. The fire was cracking in the hearth, and tea smelled of lavender, and I saw nothing because of tears and my own stupidity. And almond bloomed everywhere that night. And Severus stayed by my side the whole night, silently trying to console. He was summoned in the morning and I didn't see him till the Battle in Malfoy Manor.

I didn't have any false illusions about my magical surviving, I just hoped that when I would be roaming between life and death, my demise would be strong enough to protect Harry and help him escape. As the last outburst of magic, as the last ray of love. My thoughts were all about Harry and Severus. I wished for them to survive and to win. I did not think about myself and my life. Stupid self-sacrificing Gryffindors, I smiled faintly and this thought and kept struggling against Bellatrix.

In a world of miracles, it was easy to believe in one, but still, I could hardly believe that we survived and escaped the Manor almost untouched, despite my scar and aftermath after the curse. I was lying on the bed in Shell Cottage, looking at the ceiling and smelling the almond bloom. That damn tree, always reminding me about unimaginable things! I heard the buzz of the wards, I caught a glimpse of silver Doe, perfectly familiar to me, and crawled from the bed. Of course, who else might it be? Severus was standing near the tree, looking at me with a sad smile, my wand was lying on his open palm. I hurried down the stairs, as fast as my injures allowed me.

I stopped caring about his grumbling thoughts about our _inappropriate friendship_ the moment I saw him alive and looking at me. I limped towards him and he took me in his arms as carefully as he could like I was a porcelain cup and he might break me.

"Miss Granger... What have they done to you?"

I just shook my head, pressing my face deeper into his robes, smelling of wormwood and smoke. He was fishing vials out of his pocket already but I paid no attention to his activities. I did not care either of my wounds or of his concern. I was happy that he was here, with me, and that he was alive. He was thin and even paler than before, there were dark bags under his eyes which I touched with my fingertips. He looked down at me. We both were broken but neither cared. The almond bloomed and his lips touched mine so hesitantly at first and with increased insistence with each following second. His hands, warm and calloused, caressed my body gently, his eyes burned my soul. And I loved him that moment like never before. The world might come crashing down on us but I belonged to him that night that smelled of almond.

Next time I saw Severus in the middle of the Battle. He was fighting at least half a dozen of his former brethren, shooting curse after curse at them. I was facing Bellatrix, surely, who would have thought my luck would save me from meeting her? We were too focused to notice some dark and nasty curse coming towards us from the Lord himself. He would never forgive traitors, he would never leave some Mudblood unnoticed... Severus spined around and threw me behind himself. He pressed some key to my palm and glanced at me, locking his eyes with mine:

"Stay safe, Hermione"

The next thing I remember was being pressed behind the wards in Severus' house, staying hidden and away from the Battle. I knew that moment that he wasted his chance of surviving on me. And tears started running down my cheeks when I fell on the floor. The sky came crashing down but I did not notice.

Fifteen years ago, I was a little fool in love dreaming at night about inappropriate relations. Fifteen years ago, I still knew why people were looking at the sky. Fifteen years ago, I knew everything, all the answers that only existed in the world, and all the spells. But even they could not save you. And somehow it turned out that for all these fifteen years I had been lying so confidently to myself that, in the end, I believed my lie.

I stand in front of the tree, cursing myself, scolding you for wasting your only chance for an ungrateful fool like me. I know, you would like to see me ruling this world we built from the ruins, you would not like me wasting my own potential for nothing. But I couldn't. I just could not go on in this world anymore. Once a year I still come to this place, smell almond petals and remember. I still wait for a miracle to happen, though I do not believe in miracles. How do you not miss the one you love?

I hear soft footsteps behind my back, I hear the rustling of robes, I smell the wormwood, I close my eyes. I feel your hands on my shoulders and your breath on my neck.

"Forgive me, Hermione, I am sorry, so terribly sorry for all I've caused you. I needed to fake my death to fool the Lord and to save Potter some time..."

"Why did you disappear?" I whisper on the verge of tears.

"That curse I saved you from took almost all of my magical reserve, so I had to hide and leek my wounds, so to say. I had to give this world a break from the former spy and Death Eater. I had to give you freedom from myself. I hoped you would find you a descent husband, would make a mind-blowing career and forget about our _inappropriate relations_ in a year. But you kept coming here every year... I couldn't take it any longer. If you still want me..."

I turn in his hands abruptly, beacon him to bow a bit down and press my lips to his.

"I've wanted you for all these years, I knew you couldn't die, Severus"

"Hermione..."

And almond blooms around us.

\- Finite Incantatem -


End file.
